We Are Ash (Chronicles of Ash Series Book 1) by Samara Stone

Author:Samara Stone [Stone, Samara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hidden Key Publishing
Published: 2019-09-12T06:00:00+00:00

20 The Not-Nice Feeling

We know now that the Dolores is too clever. The Dolores can sense us when we are not remade. This is upsetting. We very much liked being able to be with the Dolores and now the Dolores is indicating that we are Not Allowed. It doesn't yell at us because it is with the tall biped. We do not like the not-nice feeling we get when the tall one mouth-smashes the Dolores. We know that the Dolores likes the Colt and the Colt is not hurting the Dolores or making the Dolores sad, so we also know that it is not-nice for us to feel this way toward the Colt. We wish that we had taken a form like the Colt, but now we cannot remake ourself like that biped since the bipeds are so good at identifying other bipeds. Clever, bald, troublesome, soft, squishies! It is our crazy bitch!

We are Not Allowed. We should not follow the exoskeleton back to the mother-thing's lair, but how can we let the Colt have all the touching of the Dolores? Will the Colt get to have the grooming tub time? Will it get to press its long dark shins against the Dolores's long pale shins? The glimmer we got without breathing into the Colt, we saw its fingers in the Dolores's shiny black hair. We wish that we had thought to run our own fingers through the Dolores's long hair.

We are Not Allowed. We must not go into the lair. We must Go Away, like during the stink-making. We know that the Dolores yells when we do something that is Not Allowed. We remake in the small grassy pen behind the mother-thing's lair and we find that we are leaking the eye saltwater. The sad juice. We are sad. We came here to escape the alone, but now we feel the alone even more. It is worse to be in the alone when the Dolores is so near. We blink away the sad eye fluid and look through the clear-hards. We see that the Colt is still oozing blood-juice. We unmake and try to fix it without remaking. We swirl back outside and watch.

The Dolores cleans the Colt's face and then she is mouth-smashing again and we are so full of the not-nice feeling about the Colt that some bear words escape us. They stop mouth-smashing and we run, but not before we think the Dolores might have seen us. We will run for days. We will run until the not-nice feeling in our thorax goes away. We do not wish to make the Dolores sad, but the Dolores has made us sad. We are Not Allowed to mouth-smash the Lane, but the Dolores is mouth-smashing another biped. Maybe we are Not Allowed to mouth-smash at all? But the mouth-smashing seems like a cure for the alone.

It seems the Dolores now knows that we made the Danny blood cough. That we unmade the mother-thing. The Dolores might yell at us.

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